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reg - July 22nd, 2010 5:47 AM

Hi,

I am 36 and my Hubby and I are unable to concieve naturally due to problems with his sperm. I have no children. I had a blighted ovum miscarriage 6 years ago. The only way we can have children is to have fertility treatment called ICSI. We cannot get this funded on the NHS as my Hubby has a family from his first marriage. We paid for the ICSI ourselves. A whopping £6000.00. Amazingly the treatment worked and I took positive pregnancy tests. I just could not believe our luck. I was ecstatic right up until the 7 week scan which shiowed once again, my old friend the blighted ovum. I am absolutely heartbroken. It was our only chance to do this. We can't "try again" as it costs us £6000 every time we want to try again.
I can't believe this has happened to me again. Life just feels so cruel. I find it hard to put into words how I feel. I think I just feel completely empty and dead. Everything is pointless and I feel my future is just gone now. I am not meant to be childless. I get angry and so fed up just with waking up everyday. It's only bearable when I am asleep. I couldn't stand it being childless before the treatment began let alone now. It doesn't get easier. Not now there isn't any more hope left.

sharlene - July 23rd, 2010 4:14 PM

me and my husband went for our 12 weak scan today and what i thought would be one of the best moments of our life has ended up being one of the worst! so in a way i feel a simular pain as you.our baby didnt develop but the sack did so i had all the symptoms of being pregnant but with no baby.i feel so upset,thinking,planning and telling everyone that im pregnant,and im not anymore!i cant face going back to work yet as i work with 2 other ladies who are pregnant and there was only 2 wks between us! i too cant believe out of everyone its happened to us, were married,we both work and we are nice people! me and my hubby are parents but without children! i hope you and your hubby can comfort eachover and even if you cant have children try to be happy with one and other and your life, i kno its easier said than done but i hope you can still live and not exist! best wishes x X x

laurajane - August 1st, 2010 11:48 AM

hi my name laura im 21 iv had 2 missed miscarriages in 10 months i had no pains or bleedin i went to my 12 week scan over both babies thinkin wud b the best time of my life and both times i saw tht look in there eyes it was the most devatsting news ever, i cant bear 2 go back work either as there are also 2 ladies pregnant round same time, and i do now that she will be finding out what she is having in a week and i just think i would of bein doing the same. i feel i have no one to turn to. you right it doesnt get easier. u sound real nice ladies hope u both find happiness xx

sharlene - August 9th, 2010 10:00 AM

Hiya laurajane, im also 21 and our experiences seem so simular.this was my first missed misscarriage and i also had no bleeding or pain but just a blank scan photo on the day! ive decided not to go bck to wrk as altho i could put a brave face on,just seeing the other 2 ladies wld upset me and make me think that could have been me,and also the worry of it happening again.ive not seen any family since the misscarriage as i dont want any sympathy and jst want to be left alone for a bit! you say that you have no one to turn to but if you ever need a chat with someone who knows a bit of what your feelin then,i would love to help!take care xXx

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