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Hi all, it's been comforting reading some of your posts on other message boards, so thank you.
I had a termination of a missed miscarriage this last Friday. Initially, I was going into the hospital for a termination due to my mental health. I thought it odd that when the doctor scanned me, he dated me at three weeks behind what I thought I should have been. I also thought it odd that he booked me to have my first tablet that day and to come in to have the second tablets 48 hours later. In my ignorance, I thought he was just being efficient. It wasnt until I went in on Friday when the student midwife booking me in asked me if having the missed miscarriage was a suprise! I told her I thought I was in to have a medical termination, and was informed that the consultant had written missed miscarriage on my paperwork. Looking back, I had classic symptoms of a missed misscarriage, loss of pregnancy symptoms, spotting and cramps, but I convinced myself that it was stretching pains and that I was just being really lucky with the sickness this time about. I have three young children already, and I trust none of you are judgemental as to why I chose to have a termination, however, now I know I had a missed miscarriage I am struggling ten fold to cope with the feeling of loss. When I passed the pregnancy at the hospital, it was not painful, mild cramps only and I saw my baby in the bed pan after I had been sat on the toilet. I said my good byes and had a little cry of course. I am not sure if my hormones are making me extra teary, but the fact that I know my baby had died before has really really hit me. I am sure the consultant decided not to tell me the baby was already dead to save me the upset, I can understand that to know that would help others cope better, me, it has had the opposite effect. I feel fine one minute, then am crying the next. Physically I am fine. Do any of you have any coping strategies? I've had loss in my life, but never of a child and this grief is a new feeling to me.
I wish you all the best of luck ladies, be kind to yourselves. You deserve to be.
xx
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