how do you get through this?

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2 posts on this thread and the last post was on January 21st, 2010 8:18 AM by hopingnomore

hopingnomore - January 21st, 2010 2:29 AM

Hi everyone. I am so distressed at the moment and feel as if my life has just ended.
I am 36 at present and had 2 blighted ovums about 4 yrs ago, conceived naturally. My husband developed morphological issues and we could not conceive the next 3 yrs. However, I went for an iui recently and had a a 3rd miscarriage at 5 weeks. I ovulated without an hcg trigger, but on clomid and menotropins. Now the doc says that I may be releasing immature eggs, and that is behind the issues. I feel terrible!
The last 2 weren’t as bad as the current trauma I’m going through. I had such hopes that it would work this time! Funny how we rely more on docs rather than on god and nature at times! I feel awful and desolate all the time. I feel mad with everyone- my hubby, god, doctors everyone. At heart, I feel so lonely, despite my 3 angels who are in heaven. I long for them so much…and can’t help feeling- why are we made to go through this? If there is a god, and there is truth and justice, why do good people suffer? I see so many abortions around me, and every one of these feels like a dagger straight to my heart! I often feel- even if I have made mistakes for which I am being punished, were they as bad as killing off a child? I have seen couples go on and have kids even after inhuman acts! Why are we different? Any answers anyone?

Dominique - January 21st, 2010 6:07 AM

Hello hoping no more, i'm very sorry for your losses. I to had the horrendous experience of a misscarriage, i have found this very hard to cope with and sometimes feel very lonely, like no one will ever really understand the pain that i feel on a daily basis. I did go on to have another healthy child who i feel blessed to have although she can never fix or replace the baby that i lost. I felt like it was a punishment from god when it happened and unfortunately i stopped beleiving, i prayed to god the night before i miscarried asking him to help me be strong enough and to do the right thing and the next day i lost my baby. i can not understand why someone so special and loving would watch and see the pain i was going through and do nothing to stop it. anyway, i came to the conclusion that it was probably coincidence although at the time i took it very personally. It is only natural to feel angry but it is nothing that you have done. i wet to see a homeopath as docs were not helping and the act of going on anti depressants made it alot worse for me. Just having someone to talk to that wasn't judgemental and wasn't going to have an opinion helped me to put this in perspective. You can go to any health food shop and pick up a leaflet.
I hope this has been some help for you.
Dominique xx

hopingnomore - January 21st, 2010 8:18 AM

Thanks Dominique.That's really helpful.Maybe i will.I don't even know if i have it in me to try again.