my baby in a bin like a peice of rubbish

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4 posts on this thread and the last post was on October 19th, 2010 10:05 PM by queenA

jo1980crawford - April 12th, 2010 5:34 AM

My partner and i made the big decision to try for a baby in August last year, but we knew conceiving would not be easy as he is in the forces and have limited time together. we were very lucky and in january i fell pregnant i have never seen my partner so happy and then 3 weeks after finding out i went to the toilet and didn't find blood so to speak but a clot, i knew in my heart of hearts this was not right, i went to the doctors who were great and got me into the early pregnancy unit from there it went downhill. I should have been 8 weeks but the internal scan was only showing 5 weeks, the nurse seemed unconcerned about the big time difference and just told me that pregnancy tests were very sensitive but as we had known for over 3 weeks about the pregnancy this meant that we had found out either just before or the actual day of conception but she continued to shrug this off and kept using the same line. They told me to go back in 2 weeks. Later that day the bleeding got worse and i rang to speak to the nurse who said that they would not see me again at the earliest it would be in 7 days time. the next day i started passing clots the size of 50p's and bigger i rang again and the nurse said she didn't think i had anything to worry about but if i was really concerned i should go to a&e, so off we trotted to a&e. It was here that i passed our baby in filthy toilets surrounded by drunks saying they would give me a kiss to stop me crying and how a night with them would put a smile on my face!
The nurse came along and said it looked like a complete miscarriage but i would still need to see a doctor before i could be discharged and promptly dropped my baby in the bin with the other clinical waste. The rest is pretty much a haze as i went into shock, but my partner said we waited another 90 minutes to see a doctor and finally given a cubicle for which we sat in for all of 5 minutes before i was packed off with some anti-biotics incase of infection due to the conditions that i had been in when i passed my baby. Losing the baby was traumatic enough without having the added stress of uncaring nhs. We have managed to get through this so far and scattered some flowers at a local beauty spot to say goodbye and help us heal and try to move on.
Has anyone else suffered at the hands of the NHS or uncaring health professionals? or was i just unlucky?

laurax_947 - April 12th, 2010 8:21 AM

Hi Jo! i am so sorry to hear about your horrible ordeal!! i think that is completely disgusting!!

I didnt have as bad experience as you had! but i do feel that they do not understand your mental state is just or more important than your physical symptoms!

I have recently had to endeavour the horrible experience of having an operation to remove what was left of my baby! as i went to my first scan and they said that either the baby had not developed or the baby had died, but i had, had no symptoms of a misscarriage!

When being told this horrible news, not one midwife/ nurse offered me a tissue which you would like to think is the least they could do in such a horrible situation esp as i was crying my eyes out!

Then after having to wait a week for the operation i experienced horrible staff who did not consider my emotional state when dealing with me! I had to wait an hour and a half for some paracetamol! and no one even said to me how are you feeling or even mentioned anything to me!

when being discharged i was told there is no follow up! and was sent home with paracetamol not any mention as to whether i would consider conselling or anything!! i just feel unbelievably distraught still as it was a recent situation!!

reg - July 22nd, 2010 7:40 AM

Oh honey, This is just awful. I have to say that I think that we are just left to cope and deal with it. It will never means to others what it means to ourselves. It's our little angel baby and we want that back and nothing in the world can put it back. My little angel died at 5 weeks, I should now be 9 weeks and the baby is still there, sleeping inside me . The clinics don't care and just say to wait. It really is the hardest thing and it's like living in a lonely solitary bubble. No-one else can or will be able to understand what you are feeling. All I can hope is that one day your pain and heartache is lifted in some way and I send lots of hope, positivity and babydust for your future xxx

JessieT - September 8th, 2010 11:17 AM

im so sorry for how everything happened for you.
Mine also wasnt as bad as this, infact i was lucky in the fact they had to remove my baby and able to test it for abnormalties.
However i found out at my 12 week scan the heartbeat stopped at 9 weeks, i was 12. The lady who scanned me said to me...
'have you had any bleeding? - to which i said no...
She then said... 'Oh im sorry jessica, but theres no heartbeat.' then wiped the gell from my belly, turned the lights on and opened the door for me. she said to come back in the afternoon and mybe someone can see me to talk aboyt my options. I feel this was awful. she was talking to me and all i remember was still laying on the scan bed with tears in my eyes looking at my partner!
also, 7 weeks after the m/c i hadnt heard anything from the hosp so i decided to ring and see if there was any results about the baby. the lady answeres and said no, we dont contact u anymore after the m/c less theres something obvs in the tests. i feel this is wrong as i was waiting 7 weeks for a call or a letter, something to give me some clouser on why it hapened. :(
sorry for your losses! xx

queenA - October 19th, 2010 10:05 PM

wow, this is bad. how is it that people can be so insensitive? i must say that i was lucky in that my midwife was very concerned about my bleeding and sent me to the nearest medical place immediately to do the scan and she even called me after the m/c just to see how i was doing. BUT i will not forget that doctor who did my ultrasound n he said 'ur baby is dead. you're having an abortion" my god! i wanted to yell at him and say its not an abortion its a miscarriage! Theres a major difference.but then ofcourse he'd think im mad if i'd done it. lol. but these people need to have a heart .U can be professional and still be sympathetic.