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1st child 1st miscarriage
6 Replies
Lou2010 - September 5

I am struggling to cope at times. I was shocked to find out I was pregnant as I wasn't trying. I suppose what makes it worse is that I was less then pleased when I found out and a week later just when I was starting to get excited it was all over. I live with my partner but was starting to think that I wasn't to bothered about children. I am 29 and was thinking I wasn't sure about having kids at all. We were careful but I guess nature had other ideas for me. It wasn't a nice experience and I was in hospital over night. The whole thing from finding out to losing the baby was really emotional draining. All I feel now is a sadness I was starting to think of all the nice things like decorating the babies room to watching it dance for the first time. Now I feel like I have been left with nothing and all I really want is the baby I lost.

 

ah26 - September 19

Hi Lou2010,

Im so sorry to hear about you're situation.
How far gone were you?

I know what you mean when you say how emotionally draining it all is and i too have found it all hard to cope with so never feel that you're on your own.

I had so many plans for our baby's room and had bought quite a few clothes. It's so hard having to look at them all knowing that the baby we bought them all for will never get to wear the clothes we bought, or play with the toys, sleep in the cot. I think it all makes it harder to cope with.

How long ago did you loose your baby?

xx

 

lou2010 - September 20

hi ah26

I lost the baby 10 weeks ago. I was 6 weeks gone when I found out about the pregancy and a week later I started to bleed. It really is hard hoping it will be ok waiting to see and then that moment when you just know its not right. I read some of your other posts and just want to say so sorry to you also. Thanks for your kind words. x

 

wanttobeamum - October 11

im findin it really hard to cope with my loss. I was really excited and couldnt wait to be a mum. I love children.i found out i was 5 weeks pregnant 2 months ago so was loving it, really chuffed. Then at 7 and half weeks had to go to hospital cause i was bleeding which werent a good sign cause i knew something werent right, findin out after tests i was miscarrying my baby. It hurts so much!! And now im finding it hard to catch again. im taking folic acid, have been for about 5 months but dont seem to be getting any hopes of catching. Can anyone help with ideas please? Really want a baby

 

MamaMia3 - October 11

I am so sorry you had to go through this. I know words don't help. I am currently going through the rough road of emotions dealing with this and some days are great, some are horribly dark and long.
Something that has helped me a little: a book called"
Grieving the Child I Never Knew , by Kathe Wunnenberg.
I came across it by accident in a thrift store. On what was supposed to be my baby's due date. I took it as a sign and bought it.
I'm not overly religious, i believe in God, but do not regularly attend church, etc. Some parts of the book refer to the bible, but what I most find helpful is at the end of each chapter are questions and journal space to answer them.
The author herself has experienced multiple miscarriages. So its honest, and hits home.
I hope you are doing ok today.

 

lou2010 - October 13

hi wanttobeamum

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. All I wanted to do when I lost the baby was to get pregnant again. I have since decided to wait for awhile. I couldn't handle it all again if things went wrong but I do understand how much you want that feeling of excitement again. I think everyone has to do what is right for them so I really hope it happens for you soon. The only advice I can really give you is the only advice I am trying to give myself which is to relax and not get to stressed. This of course is easier said than done I have been letting the smallest things upset me lately and have been getting annoyed over stupid things, but I am starting to get there. Give yourself a break maybe take some time out for yourself. As far as I know it can take take at least 12 months to conceive before you need to even start worrying. Someone said to me at least you know now that you are capable of getting pregnant. This did help me to believe one day I will have a little one of my own. Hope this helps and I wish you good luck x

 

wanttobeamum - October 14

hi lou2010

Thanks very much for the advice, i think its gonna help me get thru this. I havent really spoke about it to any one as im quite a shy person who keeps things to my self. Im tryin really hard not to think about it and keep calm and not stress but its hard. Im suffering tha same, get upset over lil things and stupid things by seeing pregnant women all tha time lately. I been to see my gp to see if i could have some sort of councelling but all the advice they gave me was to 'get over it' which i aint happy with. But one good sign is my last period was 3 weeks ago, bleeding for 1day, now last week and half been experiencing pains like period, sore boobs , pain in lower back and my mood has changed? Thats what i had last time but dont wanna do a test until the end of october incase i have another period. Dont wanna be devastated if i do and it comes negative. Confused as what to do :$ thanks again and hope i do get that bundle of joy soon and wish you all the best and luck in the world and bundle of joy too xx

 

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