I am so sorry you had to go through this. I know words don't help. I am currently going through the rough road of emotions dealing with this and some days are great, some are horribly dark and long.
Something that has helped me a little: a book called"
Grieving the Child I Never Knew , by Kathe Wunnenberg.
I came across it by accident in a thrift store. On what was supposed to be my baby's due date. I took it as a sign and bought it.
I'm not overly religious, i believe in God, but do not regularly attend church, etc. Some parts of the book refer to the bible, but what I most find helpful is at the end of each chapter are questions and journal space to answer them.
The author herself has experienced multiple miscarriages. So its honest, and hits home.
I hope you are doing ok today.