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5 months on and still struggling
2 Replies
K8Quin - May 13

I was told of my miscarriage on the 1st December 2010 - the day we were meant to see our baby for the 1st time. I had experienced some spotting during my first few weeks of pregnancy, i went to the hospital, but always felt rather silly, and kept getting told 'what will be, will be' we seen the heart beat at week 7 and all looked ok, but in the back of our minds, we just couldn't get really excited. It was like we had been thrown into a brick wall.
Anyway, fast forward 5 months, and we are trying, but to no success. I am still so down, and jealous of hearing people's news, and struggle to get any joy out of hearing friends have had their babies. I find it all so difficult, because it's like there is constantly a big white elephant in the room that no one wants to acknowledge, and in the same time i feel as though i should be over this. I just feel as though there is no solution to move on from this, except to get pregnant again and hope for the best. My husband is an amazing guy, and i know i am lucky to have his support, it would just be nice to have a girlfriend who has been through it, or not, but someone just to ask me how i am. Instead, i feel the need to put on a happy face and get on with it. I am 28, so time is on my side, but along with all the other things that have happened to me and my family the past year i am just angry.
Sorry for the rant, i just wonder if feeling like this months after is normal, and whether anyone has any suggestions. My husband thinks i should go and speak to someone, but i keep responding with what's the point? I don't blame myself for the miscarriage, i am just angry that this happened to us, while other people don't experience anything like this, and then moan when their pregnancy is giving them heart burn, or causing them to no sleep.
thank you for letting me rant!


nighteyes - October 18

you are not being unreasonable.... three years on after a stillbirth i still use 'happy face'


Tanya2310 - December 4

I understand how you feel. We lost out little girl just before my 2nd scan at 21 weeks in May 2011. It is very painful and the day doesn't go by when I don't think about her. Unfortunately people avoid this topic as they don't know what to say so as though the baby never happened. It is very heartbreaking ,especially when the baby and I were absolutely healthy. Occassional crying helps me and this is my first post about my pain in hope that it will help me to heal one day. But I will never forget my little baby girl who I called Nadejda after “hope”. Keep strong and ranting is a good therapy.



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