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Have lost 2 babies and my sister is pregnant!
6 Replies
Debz - January 5

I have just sufferedfrm my second miscriage in nov my first in july! i have just found out last week that my sister in law is pregnant, not having dealt with my loss it has brought it all back and is focing me to deal with it. i feel so alone and even though i can talk to husband he doesnt understand! plase give me some advice! im desperate.

 

fench minxy - January 6

He, me two. I just lost my baby 16 weeks into my pregnancy. My sister in law is 20 weeks pregnant and found out she is having a girl the day after I got back from hospital. Showing every body pictures and telling everybody on facebook! Shit I am in such a mess. My husband doesn't want to talk because he doens't know what to do when I cry!
Nice I just want to screem and clear my mind to get on with it. I tried to get back to work and failed, what a loser I am!

 

Debz - January 6

Hey your not a loser i also havent bee able to goback to work, i just want to lie in bed and cry away the day. My husband also doesnt like to talk to me when i cry but he doesnt seem to look at it like we have lost two kids whereas i am a mother without her children!

My sister is only 12 weeks but i dont think iwill be strong enough to look at scan photos or even feel excited or happy for her, as she used to aways tell everyonehow much shehated kids and didnt want any.

now iv lost mie and she gets one. why?

 

maybebaby - January 7

I am so sorry for your losses ladies!! My best friend and i both fell pregnant the same month, i lost mine at about 11 weeks. I was visiting her two days ago and her little girl kicked for the first time!! I was shattered, had to excuse myself and i criend all the way home in my car! I hope this gets better, i havent missed a day of work becasue i am terrified of being alone and "loosing" it completely. My fiance and i split up after the miscarraige, and i feel like my entire world has turned on it's head. I dont really know how to carry on. Seems too much most days.

 

JodieLouise - January 25

hi, i am really sorry too hear about all your bad experiences, i have kind of been through the same thing i got pregnant 3 months in lost it and my sister is now pregnant and expecting next september i don't know how too feel as im very young i should forget about it. are you all coping better with other close people getting pregnant? xx

 

Sunnysmiles - February 1

I have two sisters and they both have two children each.

When I lost my first baby one of my sisters was due to have her baby in the next few weeks and with the second loss my other sister had just had her second little boy.

It'snever easy and I have fought with my feelings many times. I look at my nephew who is now 6 months old and I long for a little boy of my own and I play with my nieces and I long for a little girl of my own.

I cry when I watch them with their children and the amazing bonds they have with one another and I pray that one day I will be lucky enough to be blessed in the same way.

But you know what, I love my neices and nephews and I would not change anything for them and my sisters. I am blessed in a different way to the way I would hope but I am blessed.

Try to take some comfort in the relationships you may have with them if you can. I'm not saying it's not hard, I still cry but it helps me get through some how.

I also know from my experince that you can talk to people, they might find it hard too to start the conversation and they might equally feel guilt but they normally want to help if they can. I found being open was good for me, I hope it can be for you too.

Love and hugs

 

kate2010 - February 8

Hi firstly sunnysmiles you are very brave to have that outlook on the situation braver than me! I misscarried 5 months ago now I was 8 weeks gone, a few weeks later my sister anounced she was pregnant and had just been for her 1st scan they all called me round to tell me and waited for my reaction I smiled and told her it was nice to have some good news but when I left I fell to pieces. Everything I'd been dealing with just got wrenched back up and ever since then I've been watching her go through all the things i should. I had no idea how we would have the closeness we always have it's so so difficult but we have no choice but to carry on. This isn't how i would choose it to be as any happiness I feel for her comes with other feelings and sadness for my baby too. I can't help but feel I would be dealing with my loss better if it wasn't for her being the same dates I was and she's younger than me too which for some reason makes it harder. I can't offer any advice but need some too!!!

 

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