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long term effects
5 Replies
tsandell - November 19

Today will be nearly 12 weeks since i miscarried. I was only six weeks gone, but the baby was wanted so much and loved beyond compare before it was even conceived. I am suffering from very severe depression at the moment. I've gone to bed tonight and have been unable to sleep. I wrote a book of poems after my miscarriage and for some reason (even though i haven't thought about the miscarriage in a while) wanted to read this book tonight. I haven't been able to find it and i just broke down. My partner thinks i'm mad, ive been crying and screaming and it kills me not to be able to read this book right now. I just want to be able to look at it and hold it, almost as if it were my baby. I have another child who is a year old and she is away staying with my sister tonight and i cant help but wonder if its her not being here that has brought this on. I think that if she were here and i could go look at her then i would be alright. but as it stands all i can do is cry right now and think of how great a loss this is. I should be happy right now, stroking my belly and maybe being able to feel my baby kick and move about now. But instead all i feel is empty. im so scared and upset right now. And i dont think that anything will ever help me get over this grief, just that maybe somethings will gget in the way of me being able to think about the baby. and in some ways i dont want to get over it, this was supposed to be my child, how dare something take her away from me? she was mine to keep and i just want her back so bad, i want her back in my belly, please give her back. i need to feel her here, i need to feel something.

 

merci_rey - November 20

i really feel for you tsandell. i also had a miscarriage last october. i know there are a lot of questions in our mind that are left unanswered and it feels so unfair that we loss our baby. a time to grief has no limit and you have all the time you want for as long as you want. i'm sorry for the loss but no matter how we say sorry it can't ease the pain. hope you'll be fine.

 

XoXo - November 20

It really take longer for us to recover. Just don't make yourself so depress because you still have a baby to take care with.

 

QString99 - November 21

I agree that we can't avoid remembering the loss and it is indeed a long term effect. I'm sorry for the loss but be sensitive for your child who is with you at present. Shower her with all your love and time.

 

tsandell - November 21

Thank you so much. I'm sorry that it was so emotional. It just felt so good to get it all out, its been bottled up for so long. I do feel so lucky to already have my daughter and she is amazing. I hope i will be able to get through this and over the loss. How long is it recommended to wait before trying again?

 

QString99 - November 22

It is usually advised to wait one cycle before ttc again. That is the basic waiting period but it you feel you are ready soon or later than that then you know better.

 

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