My due date was the 29th Dec x
Hi everyone, i joined the sight to talk to other women who have suffered a miscarriage.
Basically my doctor has diagnosed me with depression and told me to try talking in a forum. So here i am.
Basically i was due on my period on my 19th birthday and it never came but i always feel im unlucky so i tryed to ignore it. But on 28th April i finally took a test and it said positive.
I was over the moon and my fiancee was so excited to be a daddy, we couldnt keep quiet about it everyone knew by the next morning..
Found out my due date, had my booking in appointment, started to show and even had a craving!
But when i was 11weeks i started to bleed it wasnt a lot, but non the less went to the hospital because at the end of the day its my child not a paper cut.
After a couple of hours of waiting finally got seen in the early pregnancy unit to be told that i was basically exagerating. all she done was comment on my age! & refused to scan me as there was 'no-one on duty able to scan'. Which was a lie because the girl who came out before i came in was talking about her scan. So anyway they took a blood test and sent me home with a letter for my GP.
The next day (Friday) i took the day off work to relax and because i was shattered at being at the hospital for hours. When i got a phone call from one of the nurses saying i had to come back for another blood test as something had showed up.
Which had me so scared, i was just getting used to being pregnant!
So anyway on the saturday i went to work & on my break went to the toilet and i was really bleeding so i told my boss and rang my fiancee, next thing i know i was at home with my feet up. But i had to go to the hospital to get my blood test results and have another lot done.
When i went i was talking to the nurse who told me my hormone count was at around 7,000 which was ok at my stage of pregnancy and she wouldnt tell me unless she was absolutely sure. She really put my mind at rest and told me that she would ring me with my results in the morning as soon as she started her shift.
But never the less i was back at the hospital later that night as my bleeding had got a lot worse, like a heavy period.
i got taken straight up to the early pregnancy unit where i was the 1st to be seen and scanned straight away where she told me she couldnt see my baby, and then went on to say how i must have got my dates wrong!! this was the 5th June and i had found out on the 28th April!! i would have at the least been 7 weeks! But she said that maybe my baby was too small to find on the ultra sound and that i should come back in a weeks time to make sure there was a baby there.
She didnt tell me a thing about what would happen if i was to have a miscarriage and i know this may sound silly but i thought it would be like a really heavy period.
So anyway i went home knowing that my baby wasnt there.
I felt numb i think i was just in so much shock.
a couple of hours later about 3am 6th June.
I said to my fiancee i need a bath, so laying in the bath i felt this weird urge to push, so i did and i felt something downstairs wasnt right and as i felt there was. I pulled it out and there was the pregnancy sack another push and the same thing the placenta.
i just screamed and screamed. My partner came in and saw the bath full of blood and the rest.
Next thing i know him and my mum was trying to get me out the bath but all i wanted to do was hold it, i dont know why.
then im sitting in pjs in excruciating pain talkin to the paramedics. i got told later i was in shock, as i was joking with the paramedics.
In the hospital i got treated like dirt! they took the sac away for testing and i was told that i had had a missed miscarriage/blighted ovum. Which basically meant my baby either was never there or it died very early on and the sac absorbed it.
I was left to lie in my blood and was given nothing but a paracetamol for the pain. as soon as my blood test results came back i was kicked out of the hospital. i could barely walk. i felt so empty and drained.
i was told i would have further clotting.
when i got home i opened the 2 GP letters i was given from the hospital.
It said threatened miscarriage, i was told there was nothing to worry about.
i felt i had been shafted aside because of my age.
Basically 6 months on im finding it hard to deal with and was wondering if anyone felt similar?
waw. ur comment made me cry. i dont even know wat to say. its been 4 months since my misscarriage and i still cry alot. My baby was 7 weeks wen i had my ultrasound. the doc said everything was fine.i can't explain how he looked but i no i had a baby and not blood. I wasnt even given a picture of my ultrasound. a week after the ultrasound i lost my baby.
sometimes i wonder if it is humanly possible to weep so much. The pain seems unending sometimes. I lost my bf too and its like the only person i have is my OBGYN doc who is always busy so i tend not to bother her with my feelings. everyone just assumes that ur fine. well not everyone cuz only a few pple knew i was pregnant. hence ya im trying to be superwoman. The therapist did nothing for me so its like i have to pretend that im fine.
My due date is coming up which is April and i know its gona b tough for me so i scheduled my leave for the month. sigh. i should be getting ready to give birth, not a memorial.
I thought i was the only one who's lingering on but what i keep telling myself that GOD is able. and i dont care if have to cry every night for the next 365 days but i will have another baby.
So ladies, i hope i dont make any of u cry but when u feel like it just let it out. i feel like i need to be here for you guys cuz who is? i no what each and every one of u is going through and im here to say that we will be ok eventually. u will smile again.
best of luck to u all. GOD is with our babies and hes saying that he will amke a way for us again, i no he will.