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silent/delayed miscarriage
12 Replies
bobbielee - June 27

I found out last week that my pregnancy had ended.I found out at my 12wk scan.I have to say it wasn't a complete shock ,even though it's still upsetting,as I'd had a feeling something wasn't quite right.I haven't had any bleeding etc yet.I think the pregnancy ended probably about 4 weeks ago as apart from a thickened lining of the uterus and a small cyst on my ovary(common in pregnancy and nothing to worry about) there was nothing.I think it's probably been re-absorbed into the lining.I was just wondering if anyone else has been through this and what I should now expect.The doc just said I should pretty much get a heavier period in about 4-6 weeks,if not to go and see the GP.

 

amika - June 30

I've just found out that my pregnancy had ended too...I had the feeling that something wasnt right i went to the hosptal..They did a scan but couldnt find a heartbeat..So i just had to wait it out..It wasnt a nice experience..It will be like a heavy period but it will hurt way more than it should..It shouldnt last too long once it starts...Mine lasted 2 days..Make sure you get the strongest pain killers you can a hot water bottle for your back n some one to look after you...I really hope things go ok for you.

 

bobbielee - June 30

Thanks Amika,I just didn't ask all those questions I needed to at the hospital,my head was in a spin.Thanks for your advice and I hope you're doing okay.It's horrible isn't it?xx

 

amika - June 30

I didnt ask them either..I felt too numb to say anything..I got most of my info from friends family and leaflets..And now i know from experience... :( ...Did they find anything there when you went for your scan?..And yeah its horrible but you'll be ok as long as you dont blame yourself..And i'm ok now thankyou for asking its going to take a lot of time to get used to not being pregnant anymore though..Hvae you had any pain or bleeding yet??..x

 

bobbielee - June 30

They just said the lining of the uterus had thickened as it normally does but they couldn't actually see a sac or anything else.I was checked for ectopic but that was clear.I guess now I'll just have to see what happens.There's been no bleeding yet but I think that might be my hormone levels not settling yet.I have got 3 lovely kids so my body has been through 3 pregnancies already so has just kicked in as before.I'm not blaming myself as I know these things happen and nobody knows why,not even the experts but as you said,it takes time to get used to not being pregnant.I'd just about got my head round the fact that I was pregnant cos it wasn't planned,very much wanted once we got used to the idea though.Nevermind,I'm thankful for the 3 I've got and maybe I will be lucky enough to have another one but for now I'm just giving myself time.......very corny but I do believe over time it does get easier to deal with.I hope everything works out however you want it to in the future and thanks again for replying,I'd not really heard of the delayed miscarriage thing before so felt a bit nervous and alone.xx

 

amy@lebarongroup.com - January 4

I'm posting this for women whose doctor's just say "It will be like a heavy period". My fourth miscarriage (no children after three years of "trying" was what we call in BC Canada, "empty gestational sac". The placenta was forming, the sac was growing but there was no embryo. It was hard but the hardest part was when I could tell something was/went wrong. My breasts/nipples were suddenly no longer sensitive. I miscarried the contents in the 9th week about 2 weeks later. I have had two pregnancies end at 5-6 weeks and they were like "heavy periods". I miscarried at nearly 14 weeks to my perfect little fetus (done at home with no painkillers in a tub which was a totally different/traumatic/grief inducing experience) and this last one at 9 weeks was not "a heavy period". Those doctors (especially those with no personal experience should actually ask what it is like!) it was painful and happened over two days. Both cramping sessions happened at night. The pregnancy loss clinic here in Vancouver said that painkillers are a good idea and it is. I recommend it for those who need that help. I managed without but did think about going to the hospital if things didn't get better. I just tell myself that one day if I get to give birth, the miscarriages are good practice. This is not to make like of the subject to but to find a thin silver lining in the big dark black cloud.

 

hay29 - January 8

Hi, i am on my fourth pregnancy (9weeks) and have started loosing alittle blood this is now my third day, went to the doctors and said they cant do anything until it becomes like a period, i had a cyst with my second pregnancy but then disappered! Can anyone tell me if i am loosing this pregnancy or is it normal to bleed alittle.

 

bobbielee - January 9

Hi hay29, I really hope everything goes okay for you.In my second pregnancy around 8 weeks,I experienced light bleeding over a few days and I called the doctor.His advice was not to worry as it may be just the uterus getting rid of whatever it doesn't need as it grows.Could be the end bits of your last period or even a slight fluctuation in your hormone levels.I have to say in my case I was really lucky and went on to give birth to a beautiful,healthy 9lbs 10oz baby boy(he's 10 now).I hadn't had any bleeding in mt first pregnancy and I didn't for my third pregnancy either.I hope it's the same for you.x

 

hay29 - January 10

hi bobbielee, i went to the hospital and got sent home, 1 hour later i lost the placenta got rushed to hospital only to find out the baby actually died inside me 3 weeks ago, i had to have a operation and only just avoided having a blood transfusion! I came home this afternoon. Thanks to my kids i am getting through it. x

 

Connollypeter83@googlemail.com - February 2

Hi,

My name is Peter, Myself and my partner have just gone trough a miscarriage and we are devastated. It would have been her 3rd but my first and having my own baby means the world to me, don't get me wrong I love her to boys like they were my own and would do anything for them.

Why I'm on here is because I need help, I've been hiding my emotions but I find myself lost in day dreams thinking about what would have been. Tonight I have not been able to sleep thinking of Karen and the baby.

Is there anything I can do to help her through this. She is my world and to see her suffering is killing me

Thanks in advance for any comments I receive.

 

bobbielee - February 12

Hi,hay29,I'm so sorry you lost the baby.It's horrible isn't it?I hope you're doing okay.I must admit,looking at my 3 kids and thinking how lucky I am to have them helped me through,so I really hope it helps you too.Best wishes to you and your family.xx

 

bobbielee - February 12

Hi Peter,I'm sorry to hear your sad news.I know my husband was really upset too when I had my miscarriage,no one ever thinks of the man in situations like this.As you've commented on here it sounds to me like you're probably doing the right things anyway.It's not good to bottle your emotions up though.If you can possibly find someone to talk to it would be good,especially if you feel at the moment things are a little too raw to talk to you're partner.Hope fully you both will be able to talk about what happened together though because you are both suffering a loss. I know it's a cliche but time really does help,you don't forget but it gets a little bit easier to talk about.Try not to dwell on the ifs and whys too much because in most cases no one ever knows why they suffered a loss,it's just one of those things that nature throws at us sometimes.If and when you and your partner are ready you may decide to try again and you may get the child you wish for.My advice would be that your feelings are perfectly normal,your partner will probably be feeling as sad as you and maybe a little guilty too(us women tend to blame ourselves for these things even though we've done nothing wrong),give yourselves time to grieve for what was and could have been and take each day at a time.Just be there for each other and don't think there are right and wrong ways to deal with a situation like this,some people can deal with it quicker than others.I wish your family all the best and hope that everything works out well for you.x

 

samson14 - March 18

hi amy, Your post has been very helpful. Here I am too at 7 weeks and awaiting miscarriage to take place, as doctor did not find any growth after the fifth week. She has stopped all the supportive medicined and asked to wait for 2 weeks to bleed orelse will have to undergo D&C. This is gonna be my 3rd miscarriage with 2 prior D&C's. It really upsetting to not find a reason and yet suffer this loss and moresoever it is frustrating that u are helpless as u cannot do anything to correct it. Last 2 times have been very difficult underwent depression for a while but this time no I am not going to allow it to happen to me again I am working keeping my self busy, my husbands has been extra supportive as always and I am doing fine and will do and again try for pregnancy in a few months by god's grace all should be well for us. Take care all of u and may your dreams come true soon.

 

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