You're Pregnancy!  When Do You Tell Your Children and Others?

It is always a very exciting time when you find out that you are pregnant. While this excitement is something that you certainly want to share with your spouse immediately, it may not be something that you want to share with others so soon. It is important to consider when, and how, you want to share your news with your other children, and with your friends and extended family.

Why Wait?

There are many reasons to wait to share your exciting news. Unfortunately, during the first twelve weeks of pregnancy, approximately 10-15% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. From weeks 12 to 28, approximately 3% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. For this reason, it is often advisable to wait to tell your older children until you've passed the first threshold. Many people wait until around 12 weeks. Prior to this time, they aren't usually showing, and by this time they can hear the heartbeat and assume that there is less risk of miscarrying.

Who To Tell First?

When making plans to tell others about your pregnancy, it usually makes sense to tell older siblings before telling friends and extended family. Often times, a friend will assume that your child knows about the pregnancy, and will say something to them. If they don't know about it yet, this can be confusing and difficult for you. Therefore, if you tell your children first, then you will ensure that you tell them - rather than having someone else do so by accident. Really small children won't necessarily understand the news. Throughout the pregnancy, as your stomach grows, they will certainly realize that something is happening. You can point to pictures of babies in books and point to your stomach. You can buy a small child a doll and explain that you have something similar in your stomach. From around 3 or 4 years of age, children should be able to understand the concept of pregnancy when you tell them that you are expecting.

A new baby can create a lot of apprehension for your older children. Help them to get swept up in your enthusiasm and ensure that they are part of the process. Having them tell others that you are expecting is one way to engage them in the process and to allow them to be part of the excitement. Telling them before you tell others also demonstrates that they are very important to you, and that they will be important when the new baby arrives, as well.

Your closest relatives and friends will likely be eager to celebrate the big arrival. Before you know it, your loved ones will be planning your baby shower, and you'll be choosing invitations 

and baby-themed decor.

How to Tell?

There are many fun ways to let people know that you are expecting. One fun way is to scan a sonogram into an email and to send it to your family without a note. They'll open the attachment and find a wonderful surprise! You can have your children tell friends and family. One of my children told my mother that we were getting "the best gift that you could possibly imagine." It's very cute to hear how your children convey the message to others. If you've taken a home pregnancy test, you can show this to your spouse - or even wrap it up like a gift! This is a very exciting time in your life, and one that you can share with others in many fun ways.

Enjoying The Experience

A new baby can create a lot of apprehension for your older children. Help them to get swept up in your enthusiasm and ensure that they are part of the process. Having them tell others that you are expecting is one way to engage them in the process and to allow them to be part of the excitement. Telling them before you tell others also demonstrates that they are very important to you, and that they will be important when the new baby arrives, as well.

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