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I want my baby back
8 Replies
queenA - October 18


I'm 22 and lost my baby at 8 weeks. everything happened so fast. like lou, i wasn't expecting to have a baby as yet and when i found out i was just filled with fear. fear of what people would say, fear of how id get throught it and fear of my relationship. but when i did the ultrasound everything changed. i no longer knew who fear was n accepted what would be. I was so excited when my bofriend and i thought of names.( i had one i really liked and stuck to it to this day)

I thought of all the cute clothes i'd get him and how so adorable he'd be. And then in two weeks all so suddenly he's just gone! 4 weeks have passed by and i just still cant believe i lost him.

And i feel so alone. the very people i thought i could lean on especially my boyfriend comes off as insensitive. i dont know why. but i feel like no one understands. I no i'm young and have the future ahead of me. I no its' possible that il have babies in the future; but i cant see that right now i just want this baby not another one.I no i have to let go and move on. But i just cant right now. How do i even? I go to work, i laugh, i act normal you know but when i get home i just cant keep it in. I have images of the ultrasound in my mind sometimes and i just i want my baby back. thats how i feel.

Is it crazy to feel this way? it's my first time and i cant believe its so hard.


simonaderson - October 19

I cannot comment you because this is your personal life so please i can just you that go and frankly talk with him about your problem they can do something. Just i will say you that once you go there.


queenA - October 19


To simonaderson, i didnt quite get what u said. It's a bit confusing


kate2010 - October 21

Hi queenA
I'm also 22 and lost my baby almost 2 months ago at around 8 weeks I knew I wanted a baby but had been trying for a while and was surprised when it finally happened, we were too excited and told quite a few people.

I automatically started planning all sorts of things in my head I'd got thoughts of my baby being 1 and schools he or she could go to and I never usually plan ahead!

At 8 weeks i found out I lost my baby, I tried to be strong and was just exhausted at first but now I feel like everyone else has forgotten and I still feel so empty and sad it's not even that I want another baby its this baby i want.

I get upset at how insensitive everyone seems to be too and I'm not usually an emotional person and when people ask how I am I say I'm ok but really I feel like breaking down and telling them how I really feel :-(

Sorry I can't offer you any advice but it helped me to know I'm not the only one feeling this way so hope that helps you too? x


queenA - October 21

Hi kate2010,

Its nice to know someone knows what im going through. I know im not loosing it as yet. just wish my boyfriend(well nw ex) could understand how i feel. It really sucks to see hw insensitive people can be and nobody understands. and in some cases like mine my boyfriend who thought i was bringing grief upon myself by even thinking about the baby.

But i'm a bit relieved to know that i'm not completely alone. Thanks for replying to my note. i'm taking it a day at a time and u should too. Did you do something to remember your baby? Hw's the support on your side?


kate2010 - October 23

My boyfriend tries but he\'s the same he doesn\'t really understand how I feel he thinks I can\'t let it interfere with everything else.

I wanted to do something but I just didn\'t know what they don\'t really give you any advice or support at the hospital do they? did you do anything to remember your baby?



queenA - October 23

No they don't provide any help or support. Im practically on my own, but God is able. He'l help me get through this.

I wrote up a memoire. Its about the lil life that my baby had and everything, my thoughts, plans and all that happened. From the moment i suspected i was pregnant to after the loss. I write poetry and decided to write up 1 in his memory. It's entitled "remembering the unknown." And u wana know sumtin else too. I lost him 3 days after my birthday. Hence everytime my birthday comes around i will always always remember.

Ive noticed here that some people plant trees and keep memoire boxes, some have remains and some actually have a funeral. But it is different for us who have nothing therefore you create something thats gona make u remember your baby.

If u have a diary, u just write watever you feel, if u happen to have bought something for your baby or even something you bought yourself during the time you were pregnant. I also like the idea of using jewelry.

My my this is life huh. whew. this is hard.

Take care. hope ur feeling ok. x0x0x0x


Sophiee - November 3

I'm 21 and hate the way that people always think its no big deal cos I'm young and can try again! Or they say you were only 11 weeks, it would have been worse if it happened later. I don't think people who have not had a miscarriage can understand how badly it physically hurts. :( I hope things get easier x


queenA - November 3

Hi Sopiee,

how are you doing? I know it's hard. Though you'll never forget your baby, you'll get better. I cannot tell u when it'l get easier, it takes time and it takes support from your boyfriend and family. But if u dont get support from them we on this site who know exactly how u feel we'll be here for you.

Take care. xXXx



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