New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?  
Miscarriage 3 years ago is still breaking my heart
1 Replies
catgram - April 27

hi, I am new here, however, I had a miscarriage three years ago. When I had first learned I was pregnant, I was angry at my soon to be ex husband. We had three children already, and I had been bugging him to get a vasectomy, as I thought I was done having children. Needless to say, I found out I was pregnant a week after telling him I wanted a divorce. Two and a half months passed and the pregnancy was going fine, I was still angry and not wanting to be with my ex, and he thought the pregnancy was a good way for us to be able to work things out. One day I started to bleed and bleed. Went to the doctors and they did an ultrasound and everything was fine. When I seen my little one on the screen, I realized that I wanted the baby, dispite my husbands and my relationship. Two days later I miscarried... held the dead baby in my hands after it literally fell out of me onto the floor. I was in shock...I couldn't believe how small it was, and yet it had eyes and a little nose and little fingers and toes, 10 all together...and yet, it was gray and dead. My husband and I split shortly after, and I moved on with my life... thinking that the miscarriage was a blessing in disguise. Now three years later, I cry when I hear of other women being pregnant...wondering why not me. I am jealous of moms with new babies. I have three children of my own, and yet they're growing up so fast, and I don't want my last memory of being pregnant to be one of loss or death. I am currently with a man who is absolutely wonderful, and so supportive. We've been together since two months after my miscarriage, so he knows it all. However, he had a vasectomy when he was with his ex wife, and the money to reverse it is too much for us right now.. For the longest time, I held the resentment against him, because he couldn't give me what I wanted (a baby) however, now I realize that I am actually holding the resentment towards myself for not wanting my baby in the first place,and view his vasectomy as a punishment for my feelings towards the last baby until it was too late. Anywyas, I babbling on here.. I just don't know what to do anymore... I don't know how to stop the pain ...somedays it's just too unbearable.


lauraj - April 29

I really feel for you. Im in the middle of my 2nd miscarriage and im still not over my 1st one 8 years ago. Have you spoken to your doctor about how you feel and maybe suggest that you want counseling.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?