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my baby is dead
4 Replies
mumkat - March 27

was 11 weeks pregnant after 2 years trying, started light bleeding with small clots , no pains -on tues 23/3/10, was referred to early pregnancy unit , was told by the doctor that there was probably nothing to worry about, went the following morning wed 24/3/10 and had a scan, me and my husband new straight away as could only see the black sac on the screen, they told me that the baby had died 7 .3 wks. cant remember much after that just numb with pain. never cried so much in my life. was told by the midwife that i could have it removed under anaesthetic, but couldnt fit me in till the 30/3/10 this was 7 days from finding out. was told they baby may pass in the meantime, but its killing me emotionally waiting- only bleeding slightly and have to wait another 4 days to go in,,,, i cant believe they are so cruel to leave people so long ,,,, you suffer being told your baby is dead but to have to wait 7 days to help remove it is just unbearable, then you have the procedure and i'm sure i'll live it all over again,,,,,,,,,,,,just waiting heartbroken


Kit - March 28

I'm so sorry for you. I went through a similar experience after five years of trying and the waiting is hell. I now have a beautiful baby boy and I truly hope that you have a similar outcome. Sending you hugs. You will get through this. xxx


kyoli0506 - March 31

I have gone through this myself...less than 2 weeks ago I started bleeding. I was 11 weeks pregnant. A scan revealed my baby had died at 6 weeks.
I couldn't believe it and asked for another scan to confim the there was no heartbeat and they agreed. 1 week later they gave me the exact same news and I opted for an ERPC the following week......I miscarried a few days later. Approx 10 days after I first noticed some bleeding.

It sounds as though they have put you on the waiting list for the surgery....maybe you should call your hospital and ask them to put you on their emergency list ( my hospital were going to do that).

Its such a devastating still terribly upset and people keep telling me that these things happen for a reason-maybe they do, but it doesn't take the pain away.

my thoughts are with you xx


EmmaB - April 2

I too have experienced being told my baby is dead at the 1st scan, its heartbreaking. We went from seeing our little baby on the screen thinking all was ok to being told there was no heartbeat. They offered me a D&C 3 days after but luckily I miscarried the following evening, so painful not just physically but worse mentally. Dont let them make you wait if you're not getting rid naturally.
I keep blaming myself, what if I hadn't had that row with my boyfriend or what if was younger & fitter (am 36)... My bf is also devastated but I can't help him cos I feel so awful myself. Am sure people are only trying to help but saying stuff like 'it wasn't meant to be', 'maybe something was wrong with it' & 'you can have another one in time' really doesn't friggin help, it smacks of insensitivity & obvious lack of experience. You wanted 'this' baby, you had thought of names for it, were looking forward to holding it on the due date, buying things for it after the 1st scan, being a mum for the 1st time etc. No words can take away the pain just time I guess...


mumkat - April 6

thanks for your hugs and thoughts, sorry to hear youve had losses as well, aint life just the worst.
havent been online for a while just couldn't face it, i've been feeling a little bit depressed lately.
went back to hospital on the 30th march for a scan as i thought i had miscarried over the weekend, only to be told that the gestation sac had collapsed and things were still there, so was taken in to have the ERPC that day.
how crap was that , the worst feeling in the world, the fact that i had to have things taken away. i just feel so empty.
only just 2 weeks ago i thought i was pregnant, we had been discussing names, looking at prams, and counting down the weeks..... and now...were not really discussing anything.....
i do know were strong enough to get thru this. it's gotta get easier, but am struggling with leaving the house and meeting people. especially people i know, .....
hopefully we'll try again ,,, you never know our next baby may be lucky to make it thru...........

my love and thoughts are with all of you xx................



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