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Putting the blame on ourselves
18 Replies
Ladylou - August 24

When we lose our baby we tend to blame ourselves for not carrying the baby well. Not to be taken literally, we somewhat punish ourselves for not taking care of the baby until he/she is born. Is this normal? What are your views about this?


Brightcurve - August 25

In my opinion this normal.Mothers can't accept it and would usually blame themselves for the loss.Mothers will consider the things that should have be done to save the baby even if there is really nothing they can do about it.


Catherine_14 - August 25

I agree that it is normal but it should not be the case. I will only make mothers more depress and weak.


Fishlette - August 26

If the mother is really not so careful or is very abusive of her health so it is really her fault if ever she will lose the baby. On the other hand if it was a natural miscarriage that we can't really avoid then there is no one to blame about it.


bambi - August 27

This is very possible but I think it is just part of the depression and the longing for the baby. It may not be intentional but it does happen. Blaming is also a way of denial of the situation but it will just pass.


Ladylou - August 27

I agree to bambi's post that it is a way of denial when we blame ourselves for the loss of the baby. It may be difficult to admit but it is really a stage of denial.


Lydia - August 28

I was not able to experience the point of blaming myself for the miscarriage. I had an ectopic pregnancy so it should be the best solution for it because the baby is at risk and so as myself.


Joyce35 - September 1

Fishlette- I am confused by your post. Are there really mothers who are doing the carelessness and miscarried? I mean if they do that intentionally then I guess they really want to abort the baby. If that's the case then why blame themselves?


GirlTalk - September 14

I don't really blame myself about the loss but I think I am pressuring myself to have a successful pregnancy. I know I have done all the things that I have to do to make it work but it just isn't working.


Fishlette - September 14

I got your point Joyce35. What I wanted to emphasize here are those mothers who regret what they did. I mean there are some circumstances that they should have avoided but at that moment they were not able to do so.


AileenMay - November 26

In my case I can't blame myself because it happen out of my control. So I think it will really depend on the cause of the loss.


HOPE - November 26



HEAVENKNOWS - November 26

It is normal and it can't be avoided at times. The only consolation is the best support from the family to avoid full depression.


Halina_88 - December 2

Support from family is a big help so as not to feel the blame and may give a negative outlook of the loss. When we are in the most sensitive situation, we are very fragile and can get affected easily on what the people around us say or do.


Kisses - December 2

For me I agree that denial is the main reason for the blame. It may cause a little comfort if there is someone to blame for the loss.


Catherine_14 - December 15

I don't think it can give some comfort by blaming ourselves. It will just delay the recovery or worse case is giving up.


kaireen - December 15

I think Kisses meant to say that when there is someone or something to blame (other than the mother) it will comfort the mother.



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