Phase One-You Realize You Are Infertile
The Life Altering Experience Of Infertility
Infertility is a life altering and mind altering experience. Everything that has anything to do with you, from your self-esteem, your hopes and dreams for the future, relationships in every sphere, and even your financial situation, can be affected. The experience is far more than physiological. It is psychologically challenging, demanding, and often overwhelming.
Infertility is a very private issue and many couples are reticent to share their experiences with others. They may be tired of dodging questions about when they plan to start a family and as a result, a separation between them and their families and friends slowly grows. They may end up feeling isolated. In reality, they are not so alone. Fifteen percent of all married couples experience infertility along with all of the frustrations, emotional trials, and anxieties that go with it.
Stage One-Realizing And Acknowledging Infertility
There are distinct stages a couple will go through on the journey of infertility. In this article, we will talk about realizing you are infertile and ways to cope with that reality. When you learn to cope with your emotions, then you will be better able to come to some resolutions that work for you as a couple. As with any difficult situation, time, patience, being informed and having support all work together to help you achieve peace with your circumstance.
Most couples make a decision to start a family and then just do it. Rare is the couple who worries about becoming pregnant at the beginning of their attempts. It is only after multiple failures to conceive over a period of many months that they are suddenly faced with the possibility they may be infertile. The thought can be very overwhelming and frightening. Suddenly self-confidence is shaken as the understanding that this time things are different and your world is rattled to its core.
How It Usually Happens
Usually the woman is the first to recognize there is a problem while the man may need some time to be convinced there really is something wrong and medical help may be required. The immediate shock and disbelief opens the door to feelings of frustration, anger, denial, guilt, blame, self-pity, and jealousy. Everything becomes too much as emotions magnify small disagreements into major problems.
How You Can Cope
This difficult stage can be handled best by communication. Talking with people who have experienced what you are experiencing will help you see you are not the only ones who have gone through this experience. If you have been trying to conceive for a year or more (and you are under 35), make an appointment with your doctor. If you are over 35, an appointment should be made after six months of trying without success. Do not wait long before you address the situation.
It is very import to remember your feelings and thoughts on these matters will likely differ from your partner. Even though communication may be difficult at this time, it is critical. Redirect your frustration to something positive like a hobby or volunteer work and stay connected to each other. You’ll make it.